Posted by: Ashley Baker | May 31, 2012

The Ten Uses Of Your Car’s Headrest

Drivers side headrest of the Vochol

Drivers side headrest
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  1. Guess Who
    1. Who doesn’t love playing Guess Who? This is especially great for girls who have boyfriends. All you have to do is get in the car without him noticing, put your hands over his eyes and pull his head back against the headrest. I assure you that the flailing and cursing will subside once you yell, “Guess who!” If you really want to make the game fun, perfect a Jigsaw voice. I can imagine doing it to one of my good friends now! “Hello William, I wanna play a game…”
  2. Angry Driver
    1. You’ve seen all those stupid drivers that cut you off and that, if they hadn’t just sped through that yellow light, you could have turned instead of waiting with your front end almost in the intersection. Want to show your frustration? Just hit your head on the headrest! I guarantee it won’t give you a headache nearly as bad as your steering wheel would.
  3. Secret Safe
    1. We all need a place to hide things. Me, I need a place to hide my phone so that my friend stops stealing it while I’m driving. You might need it for something else, but we won’t get into that. So why not cut a hole in the bottom of the headrest and stash everything inside? Sure, if you hide a cinder block in there you will definitely get a concussion if you’re in an accident, but that cinder block is more important than your health anyway, right?
  4. TV Stand
    1. You’ve seen the cars that have TVs mounted to the ceilings of their cars, but who needs one of those? Just get it installed into your headrest. If anyone asks if you’re going to drive, you can simply respond, “Are you crazy? My headrest is a TV stand. I’m going to sit back here and watch Family Guy.”
  5. Notepad
    1. No one ever carries a notepad anymore. They’ve got their phone for that, until it dies and they realize they left the charger at home. (Because, yes, there are people who take car chargers OUT of the car.) But since everyone carries a marker these days, usually a Sharpie marker, you can just write it on the headrest and it will literally be on the back of your mind until you get out of the car.
  6. A Pillow
    1. So you’ve recovered from the cinder block accident, eh? Well, maybe this will appeal to you more. Turn your headrest into a pillow. It’ll have plenty of perks—you can sleep in your car comfortably (even though that’s illegal), you don’t have to worry about that horrible whiplash or getting another concussion, and you can still hide things in the pillow. The feathers are soft, so they’ll be enough to keep you from being knocked out by the cinder block you insist on keeping in there.
  7. Emergency Brake
    1. So you happened to piss off your friend’s boyfriend and now he’s out to kill you. I’m sure you’ve heard of the classic brake failure, right? They go in, make it so your brakes don’t work, and next thing you know you’re under a Mack truck. So just have a back-up brake set up inside the headrest. No one would ever think to look inside your seat for hidden brake cables. Besides, two cables going to the same place can’t possibly be the same thing. Me, I’ve got a little Kia Rio, and foreign cars are always weird. The other cable is probably just some crazy foreign invention that puts Sunny D in your brake fluid tank anyway.
  8. Weapon of Mass Destruction
    1. Why not turn your headrest into some sort of laser that could inevitably cause destruction just by installing it in the first place? What could be more fun than watching the people you’ve hired to install it getting blasted in the face because there’s so many buttons on it, there’s hardly any room to hold it—and where there is room, there’s a hole for the laser to shoot out. It’s perfect when you’re on the run for stealing that Twinkie from K-Mart.
  9. Paintball Shield
    1. While most people don’t want paint inside their car, for you hardcore paintball enthusiasts, go right ahead. Bonus points if it isn’t your car. Even more bonus points if it’s a jeep. Triple points if it’s not your jeep. (I sure hope the owner has a sense of humor. From what I hear, paint balls hurt.)
  10. An Excuse
    1. We all have those people in our lives that, when they call you, you have NO desire to talk to them. It’s usually because all they do is complain, and normally the only time they call you is when they’re drunk and want to tell you how horrible their life is. Just tell them your headrest ran away with a leprechaun and you have to go get it back because it’s illegal to drive without one. They’ll probably be too drunk to realize you’re lying.

DISCLAIMER: Sleepy Kitten Productions does not encourage the use of drugs. The above is meant for entertainment purposes only, and should not be tried at home. By trying any of the above things you do so knowing that Sleepy Kitten Productions is not responsible for any jail time you gain from your actions.

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