Posted by: Ashley Baker | June 22, 2012

Ten Horrible Things To Tell Your Kids

There are some things you should never, ever say to your kids. Here’s ten of them:

  1. “When your child wants to know where rain comes from, tell him God is crying because of something he did.”

    Michael Powell

  2. “Tell a child that every time they poop their diaper, a puppy dies.”

    – James D.

  3. “Every time a child pees himself, a kitty gets kicked.”

    – James D.

  4. “If you mail off your Christmas list to Santa, the post office shreds the letter rather than sending it back.”

    – Dr. K. L. (This was my pediatrician.)

  5. “See those little things you can only see in the light? Those are fairies. You’ve been killing them by clapping your hands.”

    – S. L.

  6. “If you don’t stop crying, we’re keeping you here overnight. So if you want to see your cat/dog/pet, shut up.”

    – Some nurse at Chesapeake General Hospital when I was… Five, I think.

  7. “If your car breaks down, tell your child it’s their fault for not getting 100’s on all their schoolwork.”

    – Ashley Baker (me)

  8. “Tell your child that their pet rabbit/cat/dog/snake/tarantula ran away. When they throw a tantrum or start crying about it, tell them that’s WHY their pet ran away.”

    – Ashley Baker (me)

  9. “When your child asks what causes earthquakes, tell them that’s what happens when children step on cracks in the sidewalk. And that many people die each time there’s an earthquake.”

    – Ashley Baker (me)

  10. “We’re getting divorced because you weren’t good enough.”

    – K. S. Malt


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